Euphoric

"(2)Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (3)Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:2-3

"Something has come over me, I can't explain it. Dad is home and I don't know how long he will be here with us physically but he is here now and today is a good day. I feel peace in every part of me in this moment, It's Euphoric. Okay, well that is all I called to say, I love you, see you in a bit."

This was the phone call I received from my mom on Friday afternoon. I was laughing at my mom's spontaneity and feeling joyous too at the fact that my dad was at home. It has been a wonderfully tiring weekend full of the people I care for most deeply. Thursday night Scott called and wanted me to take him to the emergency room, and so we went. Upon returning home at four in the morning, we were relieved at the fact that the pain he is experiencing is from tension and not any other serious complications. Friday he thought he wanted to go to the ranch with Todd and his friends, but in a good effort to make mature responsible decisions he called me to come and meet he and Ryan Lewis in McKinney and take him back home. He kept apologizing to me, if he only knew how much I enjoy spending time with him and that I would do that no matter the time or place, any chance I get. I love you bubby. Friday afternoon dad came home! I am so excited. Let me say that again I AM SO EXCITED. I love him being in this house, all bundled up because he is truly cold when the temperature is set on 80 (hehehe). He is doing better. Eating better, sleeping better, and being able to talk considerably more. The Underwoods stopped by, Archie and Nancy and their family have been dear to us ever since I can remember. After they left we were laughing and talking about a trip to the dairy farm our families took together. While I am not much on milking cows these days, I have to laugh that they took us there... Who goes on vacation to the dairy farm? Hilarious. I also spent some time with the Samples. Nell and Clarence have treasures in heaven untold but certainly present, their sweet tea, front porch swing, and loving empathetic arms come with so much faith and encouragement, that I am humbled and when I leave their presence I am always reminded of our family in Christ and a better understanding of what that authentically looks like fleshed out in real people who have endured real trials and given real glory and praise to our most REAL savior. I love Jesus more because of their handprints in my life. I have two test this week both on Tuesday; I am not stressed out at all which is wonderful. My dad and I spent some really precious time together tonight just talking a bit while getting him ready for bed. I asked him if he needed anything else, and he just said a real good hug, not the kind that you give in passing when you are running our the door, but the kind that you just hold on to the other person and don't let go. I fit perfectly under his head and I delighted in the sound of his heart beat, he is so alive and at the mercy of God's mighty hands. I was counting his breaths subconsciously realizing how many years had passed without hearing and giving God praise for that perfect soundscape. How precious and delicate and powerful is this man's life because of the life Christ has given him. Of utmost value. Priceless. My heart is so tender and sensitive these days, I cry all of the time. I mean a whole lot. I am a sucker for details, I love the small things, so much that sometimes I miss the big picture. The author of my life is writing and the descriptive details he has so carefully crafted make me accept, rejoice, laugh, cry, love, and every other raw emotion that flows from me so uncontrollably. It is freeing and not always convenient, but positively true. I love you all and I feel your love tonight. I feel the warmth of your presence and peace of your every parting prayer. Dad goes back tomorrow at 2:45pm for his next round of chemo. We will get a report in the next couple of weeks concerning how the chemo is effecting the cancer. MIRACLE. A REALLY DIVINE MIRACLE, that is what we are asking for. The sores in his mouth, though better are still bothersome to say the least. He has a rash that itches that covers his body, and also is really uncomfortable. Hopefully Dr. White can give us some tips or something to medicate that. Please pray for Dr. White, that he would have wisdom and that my dad's faith would give him great joy and an optimistic heart. I am going back to College Station in the morning. There is beauty in all of this, I pray that the Lord would continue to give us eyes to see it, hearts to be changed by it, and lives that actually feel it. sweetest dreams beloved ones.