Saturday, January 29, 2005

Tis So Sweet To Trust In Jesus

I just got home about forty minutes ago and am once again physically exhausted. I hate that this earthly body of mine is limited by things like sleep, but I suppose that is the nature of this life on this side of heaven. Anyways, today went well. My dad received the Gemzar as well as the Taxotear in regards to his chemo... (let us all keep in mind that I don't really know how to spell any of these fancy medicine's name and rather am going on my limited knowledge of how they phonetically sound- thanks.) He took them both like he takes everything handed to him in life, with grace, strength, and optimism. Today was great because it was just me and him from about 3:00 to 11:00pm. I sure do love him lots. I listened to hymns and read while he slept and while he was awake we watched CNN, the people of Iraq are voting which is SO EXCITING but after we watched the same clip a million times we muted the TV and dad played his hand held electronic poker game and I just sat. He told me he can't wait for all of his little ones to spread their wings, and I laughed at him, for I feel like mine are pretty spread. He wants to stick around, and doesn't feel ready to go. I want him to stick around too. I did a lot of sitting and praying and thinking today in room 1118, and I want to make sure that my prayers are not out of complete desperation of my circumstance but rather rooted in hope and genuine belief that the Lord is who He says He is and that He can do what He says He can do. In my self-evaluation I really feel like I am resting in God's beautiful promises, in His perfect hands and his Healing grace. The Lord is mysterious, unmanageable, and powerful. He will have his way and inhabit both the cries and the praises of his people- so we pray. We pray things that enable us to grow and stretch our faith, that without stretching becomes small and comfortable which is really no faith at all. I mean, if we cannot go to our Father with Big request, but only the small ones he can "handle" or take care of, than what are we saying to him? We are indirectly telling him that he isn't capable of miraculous healing without human explanation or the impossible. I earnestly pray that the Lord would search my heart and found written on it a faith and belief in him so pure and real, one without reservation or fences, giving him all the room there is in my being to move freely and in that moving I KNOW he will give me the grace and strength to respond to wherever he is leading me. I am praying for a miracle and nothing less. If I can't ask then I don't believe. When things are broken in our house I ask my oldest brother Scott to fix them. While I love Todd very much and he is brilliant with a text book, the cute boy can barely turn the TV on using the remote control. When we have problems or questions we seek out the person who would best know how to help us. When you have a toothache you don't go to a lawyer's office and ask for an appointment. Our God is the best and most knowledgeable for every area in our lives and yet we are so selective with what we consult him about. I am not asking a doctor for a miracle because he is not one who creates miracles I am asking Almighty God the one who fashioned me in my mother's womb and the one who knows my dad's red and white blood cell count at any given second, the one who knows every person in Africa suffering from Aids and the one who parted the Red Sea. He is just so big. Please remind me of this in the days to come for sometimes I try to make him small again inside of my world and box (he never fits well there). Dad will be staying in the hospital probably until Monday. He was a little bummed out but feels that it is most certainly best. I agree. Please pray for his throat... It is extremely raw and it is hard for him to swallow his food. He is eating cream of chicken with delight though! The other great thing about the hospital is that all of his meds have been given to him by injection and he doesn't have to choke down pills, which proves to be most challenging to him. His mom is leaving on Sunday and will be spending her last time here tomorrow with him so you can pray for their time together as well. Good night to all and to all a good night...love you!

Thursday, January 27, 2005

"Baby Girl"

"Many say, 'Who can show us anything good?' Smile upon us Lord! You make us happier than those who have abundant grain and wine. I will lie down and sleep peacefully, for you Lord, make me safe and secure."
Psalm 4: 6-8
There is just something about hearing my dad call my name, and my name to him is "Baby Girl". I peeked around the corner upon arriving to his room at Medical city and there my little daddy was. I wanted to make sure that I didn't wake him if he was sleeping. I crawled in his bed and we chatted for a bit and he had me scratch his back for a long while (he loves to have his back scratched). His voice was so rich and alive, just like old times. It was amazing. Praise our Father in heaven, who has heard our cries. My dad's restoration and time in the hospital has been both necessary and beneficial. He is sleeping, eating, and talking with much improvement. The doctors drained his lungs today, which proved to be, "the most painful thing ever" (that is a direct quote..." but my dad is breathing a million times better. For further treatments of this nature they will do some numbing and pain medications but either way he is feeling like a new man tonight. Even the sores inside of his mouth have been treated and recovering at a rapid rate! Tomorrow morning we will head back to the hospital just to be with the pops. He will also be administered the second round of chemo- again I ask for your prayers regarding the treatment. Let us pray for supernatural healing and that the chemo itself would not take such a hard toll on his body, as this round is more intense than the first. However we now know where to take him if he starts hurting like he did last week... right back to the hospital. My mom is such a champ. I am convinced that she is super woman and there is a stylish cape tucked under all of her clothes. She cooks, she cleans, she still works full time, she is a PHENOMENAL care taker and in the midst of all of that she finds time to be my closest friend and the most sacrificial mom that has ever been. She in short is from the Lord, but please keep her close to your minds because she feels extremely pulled in all of these different directions and should rest assure that the Lord is more than pleased with her selfless heart. You people, I call my family in Christ, thank you again for carrying this burden with us. If it isn't our neighbor's the Smiths bringing food and pies than it is a million cards of love, and random visitors just stopping in to check on us. You all are truly a family to be thankful for, and thankful we are. May God's infinite peace far exceed your conceptual knowledge and be more of a reality than worrying and more than "nice" but the air we breathe. I am about to go to sleep and can't wait- I am tired. My deepest love, Kimmy

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Rejoicing in Long Days.

"Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known." -Habakkuk 3:2

Last night was a long night, a good long night. My dad can't sleep in his bed because when he lays down he can't breathe very well SO I have been sleeping in the bed with my mom while dad attempts to sleep in his recliner. That's right, a slumber party, without matching pajamas and instead of girl movies it is CNN news and the weather channel. Dad ate a huge dinner last night and started a new prescription that was suppose to increase his appetite and alleviate some of the pain. I thought it was going great because he ate and then went to sleep. When I use the term "huge dinner" I mean he had two boost instead of one, and finished a small portion of chicken and dumplings without the chicken! After about 50 minutes into his sleep he woke up and expressed that his stomach hurt. My daddy isn't a complainer so when the man speaks of pain, he means business. I felt so helpless. I could see it all over his body and in his eye. He kept hunching over and couldn't talk because he hurt so bad. Some of the side effects of chemo is nausea, upset stomach, intense sores inside your mouth and aching. He felt them all culminate in the entirety of his body starting around 1:30am. It persisted throughout the night. I prayed. I could interchange the word prayed with cried, pleaded, and begged, for that would better describe the kind of interaction I had with my heavenly Father last night. I got cool damp rags and put them on his neck and forehead, all my efforts failed to lesson his pain. It was one of the worst feelings I have ever felt. Katie Cameron, a good family friend of ours who exemplifies great strength and character, while having gone through hard times herself, sent us a note. In it she reminded me of something that all to often eludes me;"This is a privileged time..." She wrote. A privileged time indeed. Last night my dad let me help him and try my hardest to comfort him. It didn't take away his physical pain but I am confident that he felt my love. Today my dad went back in to get his second round of chemo but his lab results showed that his body would not be able to handle the treatment. My dad was admitted to the hospital today and they gave him a wonderful shot that as of 6:00pm tonight he still felt virtually no pain. PRAISE OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN!!! They hooked him up to an IV to give him nutrients and fluids, he is dehydrated. I also think they were going to give him some good drugs to help him sleep. While he didn't want to go to the hospital, he is soaking up feeling no pain for the first time in almost two months since he was last medicated for pain in the hospital. I wish I could be there. I would give anything to be in his little room just to hold his hand. I hate not being there, and I pray that even now as I type this he would feel my most intimate prayers and love. He will stay in the hospital for at least a few more days and then they will run some more lab test to see when he can be given the second part of his chemo. Please pray for this time of restoration as the second round of chemo will hit him much harder. He will get the drug Gemzar (the chemo given to him the first time) PLUS another one. On a very happy note, the pain he is experiencing is not the cancer per say but much more so his body just reacting to the medicine. Also please pray for my room mates... Lindsay, Melissa, and Meredith. They have been so prayerful,supportive, and Hopeful. I know sometimes they don't exactly know what to say but if they only knew how touched, blessed, and encouraged I was by their kindred spirits... I walked into the house today and Meredith had printed up cards and put them up in the house as reminders to pray. I am not alone, not even a little bit. I rejoice in this long day and a Sovereign God; I rejoice in the hard days to come and in a Savior that's very nature is MIRACULOUS. Just in case you forgot what we are praying for... A MIRACLE! All my love, Kimmy

Sunday, January 23, 2005

All The Comforts of Home

2 Corinthians 5: 6-10 "(6)Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. (7)We live by faith, not by sight. (8)We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. (9)So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. (10)For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad."

I have been home two nights and there is just something about these walls... so familiar, so noisy with the voices of people that I deeply love, and a million memories that keep me smiling. What a strange thought... home? This place I call my house is really just my 'earthly tent', quickly fading with everything else in this life. It is good to be home and I just breathe better here, but at the same time it is so hard. Hard to watch my didi (that's what I call him), hurt and hard to watch him fight. He is a fighter. The toughest I have seen. I see him lose battles but have never seen him quit the fight or lose the war. He gets frustrated and tired and I bet he thinks about giving up but then he doesn't. He just tries harder- harder to eat, harder to take his medicine, harder to breathe, and harder to believe that His heavenly father has a perfect plan and the ability to heal him, whether he chooses to or not. His mother (my granny) and his sister (Aunt Donna), and her kids were all here today and he did great. I know he enjoys having his mom around, as we all do when we are not feeling well. Please keep his mother (Jerry) and his two sisters in mind also (Donna and Deanne). My grandmother will most likely be staying here for the entire week helping out and just loving on her baby boy! Dad ate better today, but this round of chemo really has taken a toll on him. Monday is his next treatment- PLEASE PRAY that the Lord will give him the physical strength to sustain him, for he is so weak and frail. I praise the Lord for his sufficient grace, as he has proven to be enough throughout every second, hurt, sorrow, and tear in the previous weeks and always. Isn't he good? Scott went to Lubbock yesterday and we pray also for his safe return back to Rockwall tomorrow. Also pray for Kari and Linda. Kari is the other CPA at my dad's office and Linda is my dad's secretary (secretary does this woman no justice to what she really does). They have such servant's hearts and are picking up a lot of extra work and could definitely use the extra encouragement and strenght that only comes from the Lord.

Deuteronomy 28:12
The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. "

Lord Jesus, I do praise you for building and loving a community of depraved humans that because you first loved, we are able to love each other. Thank you for these peoples prayers and thoughts. I pray that we would all seek to love and know you more. We delight in who you are and the work you do, even though at times we cannot even begin to conceive of your plans that far exceed our small human capacity. You are so big and unpredictable and unmanageable and for that, we worship you alone. Lord bless your people who pray and have been your comforting hands to me and my family during this time. May their authentic pleas for help and love and strength be honored by you. Bless them indeed.

I don't know another way to express to you all who have been walking through this with my family in any other way but to pray for you all. I realize that I do not even know all of you BUT our Father knows you intimately and he has heard your cries and seen your hearts full of sacrifice in intercession for my family and he is pleased. May the Lord smother you in blessings and spur your kind hearts on toward love and good deeds. Your times of request on behalf of the Hooper's keep me grounded in prayer and rooted in our MOST faithful Father. I love you all, Kimmy

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Just Doing Life

1 Corinthians 13:13 "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Things have seemingly settled a bit; all the while my thoughts and prayers are steadfast. I am sleeping better-PRAISE GOD! I talked to my dad for a brief moment tonight and he sounded okay. The phone is proving to be inadequate, as it always does in my opinion, but when it's all you got- you just deal with it I suppose! My dad has been using a breathing machine with oxygen the last couple of days, and he thinks it is helping a little bit. I talked to his secretary today and she said that he got some of the coloring back in his cheeks! This is good news. I still am continuously concerned about the fact that he doesn't eat enough and that it is very hard for him to eat. Please pray for healing in his mouth, it is extremely raw from the radiation, and the hole in the roof of his mouth is expanding. It takes him about an hour to eat a bowl of soup. HE NEEDS HIS STRENGTH! The Lord has given me clarity about where I will reside this semester, and I have fought Him every step of the way, for it is not where I want to be. His ways are really not my ways. I will be staying in College Station. The Lord never leaves me high and dry though so he has provided what I am sure he thinks is just perfect but what I think is an okay happy medium (I am laughing as I write this sentence so you should too.) I will leave to go home on Thursdays at 3:30pm and not come back until Monday morning, that is four nights at home. I will actually spend the majority of my week at home, while still appeasing my parents as a full time Texas A&M student-WHOOP! While this will be an exhausting semester I am confident that this is where I am suppose to be. Today as I laid in bed with my room mates with hot tea just talking, laughing, and catching up, I was overwhelmed with peace. I need these people in my life right now, more than my dad or mom need me home holding their hands (which I will get to do a lot anyways.) My pride would like to disagree with that but my Spirit knows its dependency on Christ and His church. Katie Bentel and I just cried and prayed together today in her car, and all of the feelings of isolation and alonesss that I had been consumed by for the previous two hours just dissolved away. This road is long and hard but the Lord will be my strength. May grace and peace rule your hearts, Kimmy

Monday, January 17, 2005

Crazy Times in the Hooper house

Matthew 6:25-27 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Isn't there more to life than food and more to the body than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; They do not sow, or reap, or gather into barns, yet your heavenly father feeds them. Aren't you more valuable than they are? AND WHICH OF YOU BY WORRYING CAN ADD EVEN ONE HOUR TO HIS LIFE ?
I awoke this morning to my mom yelling my car just got stolen. It took me a second to make sense of what she had said, and jumped out of bed. My dad was sitting at the desk in the living room, eating his oat meal, when he saw a man get into my mom's car, that was heating up, because she was about to take my dad to the hospital. Mom called the police and it turns out they actually found the car and the guy. He was immediately arrested, there were only three warrants out for his arrest. Yikes! I proceeded to take dad to the hospital for his chemo so mom could deal with the police reports and all of that stuff. Dr. White came in and talked briefly with us, but he is kind of a melancholy fellow and I could tell with every word he said my dad's hopes were dashed further away. I can see it in my dad's eyes that he wants so badly to believe in a miracle and I think it is a constant battle in both his head and heart. I hope you are praying for a miracle because that is the only thing that will heal my dad physically. Dr. White reiterated that they are no longer looking for a cure but just a way to buy some more time. As though we can buy time. I have to go back to school today and needless to say it has been a morning full of tears. I rejoice in what the Lord is doing, whatever that may be. There was a sign in the waiting room today that said, "Sometimes God calms the storms in our lives, and other times he lets the storm rage all around us, and calms his child." In either scenario he is still good, and sovereign. Todd's flight landed in Lubbock around 11:30am and he will be studying for the duration of the day for his test tomorrow. Scott is in the office today stepping up to resume a role he was created to do! God bless you all for your interest in my family's life and for helping us carry this load. I can not fathom going through this alone. Thank you also for your constant encouraging notes, e-mails, and phone messages. They restore my hope and fuel my prayers! I love this family of believers that surround me; you all are keepers for sure!

Saturday, January 15, 2005

This world is quickly fading- WHAT ARE WE DOING

Psalm 39 :2-8 "I was stone silent; I held back the urge to speak. My frustration grew; my anxiety intensified. As I thought about it, I became impatient. Finally I spoke these words; 'O Lord, help me understand my mortality and the brevity of life! Let me realize how quickly my life will pass! Look, you make my life short-lived, and my life span is nothing from your perspective. Surely all people, even those who SEEM secure, are nothing but vapor. Surely people go through life as mere ghosts. Surely they accumulate worthless wealth without knowing who will haul it away.' BUT NOW, O SOVEREIGN MASTER, UPON WHAT AM I RELYING? YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPE!"
Have you ever sat down and planned one of your parents funeral or picked out their headstone? Some of you may have. As we all sat in the living room this morning discussing the ceremony I kind of had an out of body experience. Three and a half years ago I was frolicking through the halls of my highschool with my greatest concern being what just happened in cheerleading. My, how times have changed. We are tying up the last of the loose ends for the just in case and putting in all away in a drawer, not to be touched until that day comes. The optimistic youth in me relentlessly refuses to mourn my dad's death while he is still alive. I will save that for the day the Lord and he are walking on streets of gold. I am really going to like heaven; I will finally get to live my wine taste on much more than a beer budget! (I mean really... If you can't laugh then what can you do?) Even in the living room this morning I was encouraged to pray for healing. I am not in denial, or being unrealistic; some of you may think that. Let me tell you a story pastor Steve told us one Sunday morning. There was a man that was having a hard time giving the full 10% of his gifts to the church and so he sat down with the pastor and confessed his problem. The pastor said to the man, "Let's make a deal." You, at the beginning of the month give your 10%, and whatever expenses or bills that still need to be paid, that you don't have enough to cover, I will personally pay." The man kind of pondered it for a second and than agreed. The pastor then said, "Okay because I gave you my word, I am going to carry through with what I have promised you, but I have one question for you... Why are you so willing to trust in man, whose resources are limited, than you are to trust in God, whose resources are ENDLESS?" Even as I write this, I am so convicted. Do we not do this all the time? This story reminds me of where my hope should be, in the CREATOR not his creations... Not in a doctor or a parent or treatment but in the one gave me the breath I just breathed. I see so CLEARLY now that our lives are just not about us. Not one penny of all of the money in the world, or admiration from those around us, or a perfect physical body will sit with me on judgment day. Nope just me and God and every hidden thing, good and evil exposed once and for all. Oh and his grace, how perfect and satisfying it truly is and how much sweeter will it even be on that day. I want to challenge you all, and for you all to continue to challenge me, to live lives that have purpose and meaning for an everlasting eternal home that will never perish, spoil, or fade. Do you believe it? Do you really believe it? Do you believe in a life that has no end and a perfect heavenly father who sent the only perfect sacrifice. I love the Lord and the good gifts he has given me, even though his goodness is NOT contingent on these good things. I loved the gift of looking at the stars with my dad when we lived out in the country, I was so young. He would grill and I would play and I can still remember the way looked at me, it was almost as if he could actually see me growing and every second he wanted to capture that new little girl. I love the way he calls me, "baby girl", and the way his voice echoes in my head, "Hello, little family, as he would enter the front door." It is so personal the way the Lord loves me, and he knew just how to show me his love, through a man that loved me in all of the small things and in all of the big things. Let us live today as an overflow expression of the joy, love, and redemptive work of Christ Jesus that he has put into our hearts.
* Monday is the day... Dad starts treatment, and PRAISE GOD, he will be an outpatient- NO HOSPITAL!!! His body has not responded to any of the radiation or the chemo thus far. PRAY PRAY PRAY! Dr. White will be administering the chemo and is excited about the possibilities. Maybe this chemo will be the hand the Lord will use to heal?!
*Dad is eating a little bit better, yesterday Alison and I brought him tamales, guacamole salad, beans, Chile con carne, and fresh flour tortillas from El Trevinos and he ate a lot and said that he REALLY enjoyed it! WE REJOICE IN THE LORD HEARING OUR PRAYERS!!! That is the first meal I have seen my dad really eat and enjoy in a long time. Bertha and Louis are so kind at the restaurant, may the Lord bless their generous hearts, what humble givers they are.
*Sleep, well we could all use a little more, but we are getting by!
*Todd is home and feeling much better. His professor has been awesome and allowed his test to be postponed until Tuesday.
We give all praise, glory, and honor the King! Lord, we praise you for your outstretched hand and your unfailing love. You are enough!

Thursday, January 13, 2005

New Mercies for A Brand New Day Of Life

Matthew 4:23-24 "Jesus went throughout all of Galilee, teaching in their synagogues,preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all kinds of disease and sickness among the people. So a report about him spread throughout Syria. People brought to him all who suffered with various illnesses and afflictions, those who had seizures, paralytics, and those possessed by demons,and he healed them."

Matthew 8:28-32 "As he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. And a great storm developed on the sea so that the waves began to swamp the boat. But he was asleep. So they came and woke him up saying, Lord, save us! We are about to die!But he said to them, Why are you cowardly, you people of little faith? Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it was dead calm. And the men were amazed and said, What sort of person is this? Even the winds and the sea obey him!

Matthew 9: 20-22 "But a woman who had been suffering from a hemorrhage for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. For she kept saying to herself, If only I touch his cloak, I will be healed. But when Jesus turned and saw her he said, Have courage, daughter! Your faith has made you well. And the woman was healed from that hour."

These are the things I have been pouring myself into over the last twenty-four hours, and there are tons more too. Healing is real and more than common. Think about all of the people the Lord restores health to and doesn't just simply take away through other occurrences like a car wreck? The number of living people far outweighs the ones we lose to illness. The other amazing thing this has done has given my family an ability to live life like never before. Life shouldn't always be made of safe choices and comfortable walls. You never know how long you have here on this earth. I am also so grateful that we have a piece of eternity already dwelling in us through HIS Spirit. Last night was so wonderful. We all laughed, cried, and talked about 'good' times. I come from such a house of love. My dad tried so hard to make me a nature girl, and while I love the outdoors he tried to make me enjoy hunting and fishing, so I guess he was half way successful. He bought me a pink zebco fishing pole when I was four; it had my name on it. I also had a little tackle box and my dad let me pick out all of the rattle traps and worms I wanted. They were all hot pink, shiny silver, and glitter! I love this man and I realize that the majority of you all praying may not even know him. I am truly sorry for that because he is the GREATEST MAN I HAVE EVER KNOWN (just take my word for it). Be encouraged, for your prayers are working! I have never been able to pray for HUGE things with such confidence. The Lord also revealed to me that the supernatural and miraculous in my eyes is the normal and mundane to him. My God has super powers, hehehe! Pretty cool huh? I am approaching his throne with more confidence in who HE IS then I ever have before. Let's continue to beat down the doors of heaven for a miracle of Complete Healing! Also pray for my brother, Todd. He is still in Lubbock and has a big test on Friday. He feels extremely removed from the situation and is having a hard time studying- NATURALLY. Scott is finished with college and lives in Rockwall which is so comforting to my parents, but Todd and I have to make some decisions about the Spring semester. Please be praying that the Lord's will would be made so clear. I really want to stay home but my parents are not crazy about the idea of that because I can come home every weekend while still attending school. I can not honestly imagine not being home right now during this time though. My dad is having a hard time breathing, eating (due to the radiation he received on his head, his mouth is completely raw) and sleeping so continue to pray for him in this regard as well. He starts the new chemotherapy on Monday!!! PRAY PRAY PRAY! I am so gracious that I can ask you all to intercede on my family's behalf. I have been extremely blessed by experiencing the church on another day other than Sunday. I have been experiencing the church every second of every day and I think that is the way it is suppose to be. All my love and deepest affection, Kimmy

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

This is My Week to Fight Back (Haley Graham, that is for you)

Hebrews 4 (14)" Therefore since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast to our confession.(15) For we do not have a high priest incapable of sympathizing with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way just as we are, yet without sin.(16) Therefore let us confidently approach the throne of grace to receive mercy and find grace whenever we need help.

He is El Roi, the God who sees. I am confident that he sees me, my brothers, and my mom- and i am also certain that he hears our prayers. Some people think that I am crazy when I say this but it is the truth whether you believe it or not. I have this thing with the Lord and it is essentially rooted in worrying and distrust in Who he really is. I find my feet leading me to the same spot every time I run in this viscious circle, frustrated, scared, and out of efforts and answers. Every time in my life that I have ever felt this way The Lord sends rain. The rain scares some people but to me it remedies every anxious nerve. It reminds me unlike anything else can that he has not forgotten me and that He is in control and still on his throne. He didn't look away and accidently let me slip through the cracks of the once tight grip he had on me- NO! He is allowing all of these circumstances into my life and they will bring Him glory. I don't know exactly where HIS hand is leading and moving but I do know that it is HIS HAND, and that is enough. I have never experienced the depths of his grace or peace until I reached a place where I felt like I was going to die without it. He is sustaining me. Today the doctors told our family that my dad at best has 2-10 months to live, and that is if and only if the chemotherapy works. My dad's real doctor is the Great Physician, Jehovah Rapha- MY HEALER! Please pray that my faith would increase and that I could authentically pray for A MIRACLE!!! I have not given up and I am going to wrestle with God until he moves! I love that he allows us to do that. My hope is not in the outcome of my dad, it is in the one who made my dad. Thanks for fighting with me on your knees. I can not tell the tears I have cried because I am so humbled by the community of the cross that surrounds me even now as I type this. I am going downstairs now to help with dinner and enjoy the rain. I will write soon. I love you all SO much and I pray blessings of peace and joy over you all. I also pray that we would all come to grasp more and fall in love with the TRUTH that this is just not our home. All my love, Kimmy

Pray for A MIRACLE

I received a phone call today around five p.m. that will forever change my life. What we thought was phnemonia has actually turned out to be more cancer and masses in his lungs. The other tumor that was removed from his shoulder just three months ago has already grown back. I have since then changed my plans a bit. I am staying the night with Abby and Katie in Waco and will be immediately driving home tomorrow morning. My dad always says that, "Life is what happens when we are busy making plans." He also says, "You shouldn't marry your plans, for most of the time they will quickly leave you." These words of wisdom surely are ringing true in my ears right now. He goes back tomorrow for some additional test and some more definite news but in the mean time we pray. Wouldn't it be amazing if when the doctor's got the scans back they were completely clear?! I believe in the power of prayer and I also believe that my God is STILL a God of miracles. Would you joing me in this plea? I know that my faith is small, and even now I am asking for the Lord to increase my faith. God can do what he says he can do. That is the absolute truth. I earnestly pray that he would be glorified in the outcome of my father's life as well as in my own life at all cost. The doctors are anything but optimistic, but something the Lord showed me about two months ago was that doctors may work with their hands but only the Lord can breathe life into a human and for that matter take it away. So in all of this I could care less about a percentage of prognosis for my dad, because his fate is not contingent on a doctor's craft but contingent on the one who created him. I am so sad and wish I could take away the pain he is experiencing but I can't. I think that is the other hard truth to swallow... I want so badly to help him and yet I feel so HELPLESS, so I pray and I ask the same of you. Thank you in advance for your dilligence and sincere prayers. I can feel them, truly feel them- they bring all surpassing peace and great joy. Sometimes I feel alone, but I know that I am not, your prayers remind me of that too. I love you all and am so blessed to be able to call you brothers and sisters.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For out light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. " 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Monday, January 10, 2005


I love my dog
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A New Day Has Come

Well it was an overwhelming day today. I had my last meal with my family and will be packing up and going back to school tomorrow. I have great expectations for the upcoming semester; I had a dear friend of mine tell me a couple of months ago to "expect nothing and HOPE FOR EVERYTHING" and I think I am going to take her wise advice! I have created this page to invite those whom I love and those who are just willing to pray for me and my family, to be better informed and updated about the details of what is going on in my life! I leave tomorrow for College Station and will get settled into my home away from home only to repack and drive to Waco on Wednesday because I am going skiing with friends until Monday! I will be coming back to Rockwall on the 21st to see the family! My dad is going to the doctor tomorrow which relieves my mother and myself greatly! He is fighting with pneumonia right now and is feeling pretty yucky! Please pray for his strength and that the medications all work to get rid of it as soon as possible. In the mean time, he is getting a break from treatments which is a HUGE BLESSING (the man needs a break-TRUST ME!) My mom is just a pillar of strength and I am encouraged by her sincere faith daily! The only other really big news in my world is that my brother, Scott, is now engaged! I will finally have a real live sister! YES! (one that I truly love at that) I love you all so much and pray that we would all learn to better carry the burdens of each other as an authentic family. I know at times I certainly have felt alone, isolated, and defeated when Christ so badly wanted me to feel surrounded, comforted, and at peace! I pray that as we struggle to live in genuine community we would delight in not just listening to, but actually putting on each other's burdens and redirecting each other back to the cross!I spent the majority of last semester being, "fine" and all okay on my own (which if anyone who spent substantial amounts of time with me is reading this then you are laughing also, because CLEARLY I was not "fine"!) I need you all in my life, asking tough questions, praying intense BIG prayers and reminding me of the hope that calls me home; what can I say? I am a forgetful person. All my love, Kimmy
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