Tis So Sweet To Trust In Jesus

I just got home about forty minutes ago and am once again physically exhausted. I hate that this earthly body of mine is limited by things like sleep, but I suppose that is the nature of this life on this side of heaven. Anyways, today went well. My dad received the Gemzar as well as the Taxotear in regards to his chemo... (let us all keep in mind that I don't really know how to spell any of these fancy medicine's name and rather am going on my limited knowledge of how they phonetically sound- thanks.) He took them both like he takes everything handed to him in life, with grace, strength, and optimism. Today was great because it was just me and him from about 3:00 to 11:00pm. I sure do love him lots. I listened to hymns and read while he slept and while he was awake we watched CNN, the people of Iraq are voting which is SO EXCITING but after we watched the same clip a million times we muted the TV and dad played his hand held electronic poker game and I just sat. He told me he can't wait for all of his little ones to spread their wings, and I laughed at him, for I feel like mine are pretty spread. He wants to stick around, and doesn't feel ready to go. I want him to stick around too. I did a lot of sitting and praying and thinking today in room 1118, and I want to make sure that my prayers are not out of complete desperation of my circumstance but rather rooted in hope and genuine belief that the Lord is who He says He is and that He can do what He says He can do. In my self-evaluation I really feel like I am resting in God's beautiful promises, in His perfect hands and his Healing grace. The Lord is mysterious, unmanageable, and powerful. He will have his way and inhabit both the cries and the praises of his people- so we pray. We pray things that enable us to grow and stretch our faith, that without stretching becomes small and comfortable which is really no faith at all. I mean, if we cannot go to our Father with Big request, but only the small ones he can "handle" or take care of, than what are we saying to him? We are indirectly telling him that he isn't capable of miraculous healing without human explanation or the impossible. I earnestly pray that the Lord would search my heart and found written on it a faith and belief in him so pure and real, one without reservation or fences, giving him all the room there is in my being to move freely and in that moving I KNOW he will give me the grace and strength to respond to wherever he is leading me. I am praying for a miracle and nothing less. If I can't ask then I don't believe. When things are broken in our house I ask my oldest brother Scott to fix them. While I love Todd very much and he is brilliant with a text book, the cute boy can barely turn the TV on using the remote control. When we have problems or questions we seek out the person who would best know how to help us. When you have a toothache you don't go to a lawyer's office and ask for an appointment. Our God is the best and most knowledgeable for every area in our lives and yet we are so selective with what we consult him about. I am not asking a doctor for a miracle because he is not one who creates miracles I am asking Almighty God the one who fashioned me in my mother's womb and the one who knows my dad's red and white blood cell count at any given second, the one who knows every person in Africa suffering from Aids and the one who parted the Red Sea. He is just so big. Please remind me of this in the days to come for sometimes I try to make him small again inside of my world and box (he never fits well there). Dad will be staying in the hospital probably until Monday. He was a little bummed out but feels that it is most certainly best. I agree. Please pray for his throat... It is extremely raw and it is hard for him to swallow his food. He is eating cream of chicken with delight though! The other great thing about the hospital is that all of his meds have been given to him by injection and he doesn't have to choke down pills, which proves to be most challenging to him. His mom is leaving on Sunday and will be spending her last time here tomorrow with him so you can pray for their time together as well. Good night to all and to all a good night...love you!