Evidence

It is evident that Christ is not only real but that he truly cares about me (and you and all of his creations). I am walking through the hardest time in my life and yet his grace increases, as is his strength. I have dreams and they aren't bad but definitely a reflection of what is going on in my life. I think I have dreamed about my dad every night for the last week. They aren't even sad dreams but more so just dreams that he is in. Two night ago I gave him a sponge bath while he was in his little hospital robe. He used to love those because he always felt gross in the hospital and the warm sponges were delightful to the touch. Last night he wrote me a letter and I got it in the mail after he had already passed away. My mom tried to tell me if must not be from him and everyone told me that I was crazy, but I just knew it was real and so I hid my letter and for some reason I thought it was completely normal for him to have sent me a letter from heaven. I miss him. Mom and I keep getting stuff in the mail for him, and I had ordered these tables about a month ago so my dad wouldn't have to come down stairs to eat and they just got here last week. It still doesn't seem completely real. Pretty standard textbook emotions, but new to me none the less. My mom and I have just been hanging out. She is my best friend. We watched funny girl last night with Barbara Streisand and we are dying each other's roots tonight. Hers are gray and mine are blonde... don't tell her I said that or she will kill me, hehehe. Please pray for my mom; there are so many responsibilities that were so nicely handed to her upon my dad's departure and consequently some of those things are the last things you want to deal with, on top of dealing with the loss of a loved one. I think that is one of the wierdest things... these reeling emotions don't ever stop. You feel like everyone should know how your heart hurts, even that random guy who cut you off on the highway, and all of your bills should stop coming for at least two months. You should be exempt from life while dealing with the loss of a life. All of the people's taxes that my brother, Carrie, and Linda are doing shouldn't be due until June 15th. That is clearly not the Utopia we live in. Life keeps going and we press on by means of our Jesus. I love you all and thank you for your continued prayers and support, as we still miss our best friend, daddy, husband, and head of the household.