Friday, August 25, 2006

mon un petit amis et Paris

Paris continues to amaze me with its splendor and beauty. It is just so big. I feel quite certain that two and a half months away from the world I know has been good for my soul in more ways than one. McDonald's and Starbucks and the occasional English spoken conversation are the only pieces of America that are in my grips. I miss my church family and I miss the people that the Lord has blessed my life with. There is not a day that goes by that I don't see something or hear something and wish I could share it with any one of you. All that to say... time away to simply sit and sift through the wreckage of the last year and a half has been more than necessary. I bop along with my thoughts all day. They are often relentless and exhausting. Sometimes I just lay my head down at night and beg my brain to pause for just a few minutes until I doze off to sleep. I have written a lot, not on here obviously : ), prayed a lot, and contemplated much of the reasons and motives behind the things I do. The hard part about looking critically at ourselves and praying for God to search our hearts and find any offensive way in us is that HE DOES. This, at first glance, may seem dismal, but there is hope. He doesn't just reveal and then check out. He reveals, equips, loves, provides sufficient grace, necessary rebuke and discipline, and promises to walk every inch of it with us. I hope I am growing. Sometimes forward progress and refinement feels more like digression and flailing. Chris Witt, our Sky Ranch director always said, "True gold is never afraid of the fire." This always resonated with me. True gold is not afraid because what is true and authentic will endure and everything that is not, any impurity or misplaced thing eventually will surface and fade. This does not compromise the heat of the fire nor negate the need for the purification process and all that it entails. It merely means that if I believe the claim I make about Christ being real, and the work he has begun in me then not only do I not need to be afraid of refinement but I will longingly invite and embrace every part of it. Paris had been both light and heavy. I have seen things with my eyes that my words will never adequately retell and I have felt things in my heart that I didn't even know existed. I have laughed a lot and cried too. I have had leisurely days full of sunsets, good wine, museums, and shopping, and restless nights plagued with tears telling of a still very tender heart that longs for things past and maybe even a little uncertain of things to come. Through all of these juxtaposed emotions and experiences one thing remains constant... my Jesus, his sacrifice, the word of God, and the Lord's faithful love.

I could not be more grateful for the gift that this time has been. My marmie is kind to give me this opportunity. The boys are doing great. Todd sat for another part of the CPA. Scott has been busy helping Tamara move into her new house and they are getting ready to move out of my dad's office into a different space.
This is absolutely the best and most logical thing for them to do, however I am very sad. Everything about the office on Ridge Road tells of my dad's once physical presence in that place. My mom, grandmother (dad's mom), Todd, and Holly are spending the week in New Mexico in the mountains. They just got there today. I am sure they will enjoy a little relief from the Texas heat that I have escaped all summer! The Hooper house is once again full also. My cousin Alyssa just moved in, as she is now teaching in Rockwall and we could not be more excited to have her in our home. Holly, Todd's girlfriend, is also moving in when they get home. It is basically like a sorority house.

As for my life update, I finished my last school assignment today which was a ten minute oral presentation- eeek. It actually went okay and I am thrilled to be done with it all. I am traveling with my good friend Laura Cooper for the next two weeks all across Italy and will be returning home on the tenth. I have to find a roommate, an apartment, and be in a wedding the week of my return before I start work on the 18th. If you remember and could spare some prayers, I would greatly appreciate any and all of them. I am certain that it will all work out- it always does because of that whole Sovereign God thing : ) I am just actively sitting in the waiting room hoping to have some answers soon!

Je t'aime mon amis et mon famille. Au revoir.....

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