A very Heavy heart.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. (Vs. 23) They are new every morning; great is your Faithfulness. (Vs. 24) I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’ (Vs. 25) The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; (Vs. 26) It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.” Lamentations 3: 22-26

I know that I have been a long time with the writings... I came back from Cabo and hit the ground running. I had already missed one day of class due to the trip and have since then only been in school for two weeks and we are approaching our midterm exams. Crazy. I will talk about the Hooper's in a second...

First things First... David Gilbert (a boy one year younger than me who attends A&M) has been back in the hospital for quite some time now. He is receiving his treatments and care at The Cancer research center in Houston. His white counts are low due to the Chemo and he is suffering from an infection. He is on a respirator. This all hits so close to home and I keep imagining his frail body and life held by the confident and steadfast hands of our Almighty God. Prayer is essential. I will let you all know as I get updates. David is amazing and LOVES the Lord, what relief this brings.

Okay so a couple of things... New York was amazing. It was so encouraging to see the city with new eyes and my dreams met a lot of realities. I have no idea what the Lord has in store for me regarding the big city but I am certainly able to pray with new insight. JR and Ginger were so inviting and wonderful, as they always are. We sat over dinner the night before we left (a box of delicious pizza) and it felt so much like home. It felt like home in every since of the word. I love our family of believers and that while we are away in the body we already have eternity actually dwelling inside of us banqueting over a table with others that will also take up permanent residency in heaven. Cabo was restful, relaxing, and very underserved. The Hix's were so kind to share their beautiful home and love with us for a week. It felt so good to sleep in and be with my mom. I hopefully will get around to posting some pictures soon.
And now the real updates about how we are doing... Scott is amazing. He is working and getting ready to be a husband to the wonderful Alison! They have been house hunting and are ready for the long distance to come to an end. I am just so in awe of him. He has taken on the roles of next in command with such care and precision. I feel like I have two dad's now and not just one. I have to answer the questions about the oil in my car, my checking account, and why I didn't call when I got somewhere to two boys now instead of just one. Please pray that Scott would be able to embrace each day one at a time. I don't know how he doesn't just get lost in it all. While he loves working in the office, it is sometimes impossible to escape sad feelings of being next door to what use to be my daddy's office.
Todd, got an "A" in his maymester and will be finishing his last class in graduate school in a couple of weeks. Todd is so brilliant. Scott calls Todd the dumbest smart kid in the world, as sometimes Todd can lacks in the common sense area(hehehe) I long for Todd to be in Rockwall and at home. My mom does too, however with Todd comes his two large labs Rowdy and Bear, which make the total lab count at 105 Shepherds Glen four labs in addition to Ali's maltipoo, Peaches. Todd is doing okay and we are all so proud of him for finishing school so diligently. Way to run and finish the race bubby!!!
Mommy,.. What a lady. While we were in Mexico mom was sad one night and I asked her what was going on. She told me that in light of Scotty's birthday (May 31st- he is 26!) she couldn't help but think about how thrilled she and my dad were when they found out they were pregnant. They had miscarried their first child and Scott was an even sweeter blessing. Sometimes I forget that they had this whole thing and life and relationship that had absolutely nothing to do with us. Which I am convinced is why they had such a fruitful marriage. They never forgot to take care of each other first and thus could love us so much better. She was telling me the look of pride in my dad's eyes and a undeniable acknowledgement of something so much greater than the two of them that could make such a miracle, a child of their own flesh and blood. "It was like at first it was just the two of us and then there were people..." hehe. I laughed. That is how babies are made I guess... My heart hurts for her in such a different way than it does for me and my brothers. I love you mom. I LOVE YOU MOMMY! i love you. I really do. She amazes me and encompasses unconditional love in a way I have never seen replicated. Her friends continue to be the body of Christ, loving her, protecting her, sharing meals with her, and praying for her.
I am doing okay. I am in it, so to speak. There is an actual physical pain in my heart and I have these moments that I find myself thinking to the Lord, bargaining with him almost. I tell him that I would do anything to talk to my daddy just one more time. ANYthing. It isn't rational, but true love never has been. All the while I smile at the TRUTH that there will be a day. There will be a day when my faith will be turned into seeing with my own eyes and cement that I once walked on will be transformed into gold, and the man that shares my genetic make-up will once again be more than pictures and amazing memories. He, like Jesus, I will see and touch in a whole new way. I am smiling through my tears. I can hardly wait. I want everyone to go to this place. I want the orphan that has Aids in Africa whose time is quickly running out to be set free and to know the truth about the God that so purposefully made them to go to this prepared place. I want the disease- infested, starving dying people in the trenches of Calcutta India to go to this place, to banquet at the table with a feast unfathomable. And I want the people of civil unrest and political riots in Bolivia due to their natural gas crisis, in which some have died, to know a never ending peace breathed by God. I want the Muslim girl in my class last semester to know our Jesus. This is not our home and we remain hopeful in our Jesus, His kingdom and ever so Confident in his consuming love and faithfulness.
I love you all and long to see you again. Your prayers and encouragement are always received with a heart that doesn’t think it could keep going without them. all my love....Kimmy